For so long, I have been forced to just keep up appearances. It seems as if I have to smile at certain people who I have been harboring a deep hatred for, look on at those I care about without doing anything about it. What is expected of me has become how I live, but that isn't how I would like to see things played out.
Right now I would love to see myself break free from everything, as if to start a new life with a new name in the same environment. I would keep what I have learned so I could build on it, but not have to live through most of it again. I would enjoy my life, every last second of it. Some things, I wouldn't change for the world; others moments, I would relive them and do exactly what I was too scared to do.
I'm going off to college in less than two weeks. I plan on making the very best of it. Hopefully, I won't be in the exact same position I am now: saying that I've lived with no regrets but knowing exactly how big of a lie that is.
Currently listening to Velvet Revolver, Korn, and Benny Benassi.
My life can be complicated, constantly inspired by whatever so happens to come my way.
I am going to use this as a place to write down my ponderings or ideas, so try to keep up with my rapidly moving brain.
This may also be a makeshift outlet for my feelings, but expressed in a less angsty way than most teens.
Sometimes I would like to have a personal psychologist to listen to everything i need to say, but I'm way too poor.
I guess blogging is the next best thing.
I am going to use this as a place to write down my ponderings or ideas, so try to keep up with my rapidly moving brain.
This may also be a makeshift outlet for my feelings, but expressed in a less angsty way than most teens.
Sometimes I would like to have a personal psychologist to listen to everything i need to say, but I'm way too poor.
I guess blogging is the next best thing.
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